connecting through story - Why I wrote go to the start

During my ski racing career, I routinely sought out books, conversations and interviews from others in different walks of life for insights and inspiration. As I moved further away from my last World Cup race, a strengthening sense of gratitude developed for how much others had given to help achieve my results. In light of this, I wanted to give back in the way that many had done before me, to give back through story.

​It was hard to open up at first and talk about the mental pressures of performance and struggles that I went through. It was easy to write about the successes but I knew these were only placeholders for the real story to be told. If I wanted to make a connection with people, I had to share my vulnerable moments and not just the lows, but the intimate steps taken of re-discovery along the way. This was not easy of course, when you spend a lifetime trying to prop yourself up like a superhero and then try to remove the armour, it can hurt a bit. 

I had kept a journal over the last years of my career where I wrote my raw thoughts and emotions of the day. If I was feeling angry, elated, jealous, arrogant, or sincere gratitude, I wrote it down. When I sat to write this book, I knew I had to share parts of these journal entries… but which ones?

After reading through many, which were a bit embarrassing to read back, it became obvious that one stood out. It was my very first entry, a letter to my sport psychologist at the time, stating that I was retiring from ski racing. Which ended up being four years before my actual retirement date. I was angry, scared, tired and needed to vent when I wrote it, but most importantly, I was honest and open. In my first draft of the manuscript, this entry was used as my starting chapter and served as a reminder to stay true to the story that wanted to be shared. I also knew that my closing chapter would be of my last World Cup race, so now I just had to fill in the gaps. Over the next eight months and with the help of my book coach, I wrote a chapter a week and slowly saw the story emerging. 

When the manuscript was done, it was time to submit to the editor and get my first real feedback. 

“Mike, you’ve written a really wonderful manuscript but I’m wondering if you should start the book with a more gentle topic. The journal entry is powerful but you can leave it for later in the book. When it would appear in its chronological order.” She graciously offered.

“No, it has to stay at the beginning! I need to highlight that there were struggles along the way and show the pain. I need to be as open and honest with the readers as possible.” I defended my position, feeling my jaw clench and body tense up with each word spoken. 

Luckily my editor was not phased by this response and continued with her kindness and suggestion. 

“I agree that this is important, but let the readers get to know you first. Start with something that brings them along the journey with you. Let them be a part of it and then they’ll be more likely to go to the darker places with you.”

I sat in reflection for a while and after the emotion to defend subsided, I could sense that my editor was right. My first approach was like hitting the reader over the head with a message rather than letting them come to it on their own accord. So I changed the opening of the book to a joyful moment when I first became aware of the real reason why I ski raced. Which, spoiler alert, ended up being the same joy I experienced in my last World Cup race ever. I then went through the process of editing my manuscript with the intention of letting people come along this journey with me. When I was done, it read more gently and as the reader, I felt more willing to hear the message that at the beginning, I so desperately wanted to share. 

​This is the power of storytelling. It allows us to hear difficult messages that change how we think, act and show up in this world. As I start to share mine, I hope my story is able to do this, giving back to the ski racing world that I love so much, the Sea to Sky community, and to my teammates and coaches who pushed me to achieve greater heights than I knew was possible. Maybe most importantly though, I’ve been able to give back something special to my younger self with this book. Giving this kid a road map for how to come out of his darkest hole, back to the light and home to his true sense of self.